Other parents’ experiences
Sometimes parents of youth in crisis feel very isolated. It may feel as if no one understands what you are going through. Everyone’s experience is different, but it can be helpful to learn about how other parents got through the experience of having a teen engage in suicidal behavior. See below for experiences from other parents who had teens in crisis, and remember to seek support when you need it. Your Care Support Manager can assist you with identifying or connecting with needed resources and supports.
One day at a time! Parents often said the first few days and even weeks home from the hospital were difficult but that it did get better. Parents talked about the many ups and downs during the first few weeks and that taking it one day at a time helped.
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Parents discussed feeling shock and guilt when their teen was hospitalized, and many blamed themselves. One parent shared that he finally realized that blaming himself was not going to help and instead chose to focus on how he and his teen could move forward.
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Parents shared that communication with their teen after the hospitalization was really important. Parents discussed that it was difficult at times to improve their communication with their teen and stated that learning how to “just listen” really helped.
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Parents discussed feeling overwhelmed with making the home safe after hospitalization. Parents often commented that they could not lock up everything that their teen could use to hurt themselves, but restricting access and having a safety plan helped.
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Even though some time has passed since the hospitalization, it is common to still feel worried, stressed, or angry. Several parents who had a child attempt suicide described some improvements after their teen had been home for a few months but were still having hard days or weeks. Their advice? Try not to forget about progress when you or your teen has a bad day. Take it one step at a time. Parents often reflected that despite continued challenges, they did feel things were continuing to get better day by day.
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Many parents said they didn’t feel as vulnerable as they did when their teen first came home. A father described that in the beginning he was constantly on alert with his teen but that after a little time he felt able to be more relaxed and calm. One mother discussed that the experience had made her stronger.
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Weeks or even months after the hospitalization, most parents still felt worried about their teen and continued to watch and monitor them closely. But many stated that going through this experience had improved their relationship with their teen and helped them to get closer as well.
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When asked about what helped them cope in the first few months after the hospitalization, some parents felt that just being able to engage in routine activities outside the house made a big difference. Working towards a normal routine can help you and your teen get back on track.
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Even after several weeks out from the hospitalization, its common to be feeling worried, stressed or angry. It was also common to continue to have ups and downs with your teen. Parents reported that some days were good and some not so good, but that with time the good days began to increase.
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Seeing the progress. Many of the parents we spoke with said that their teens still had challenges, but that they were continuing to notice improvement. One parent shared that while their teen still struggled at times, she had also made great improvement from where she started.
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Although it was a big commitment, some parents talked about the benefits of sticking it out with therapy and other treatments for their teens. A mother shared that with the help of therapy she had developed coping skills that gave her the confidence to help her daughter with her own coping and problem-solving skills.
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Progress may feel slow but give yourself credit and try to notice the things that have improved. One parent shared that it felt like a gradual process of change.